When someone dies often you’ll hear people saying things like “they’re still with us” “they’re here in spirit” “they’re watching over you”.
As a tarot reader, and deeply spiritual person, I’ve felt a connection to the dead before. I’ve had visions of my uncle, my ex’s sister, even past pets.
When my Grammy died at 97, the person in my family I knew would be the hardest to lose. I couldn’t feel her. When people said these common words like “she’ll always be with you” it made me mad. Disappointed. Frustrated. I felt impotent. Of all people I should be capable of feeling her. To this day I don’t.
When you can’t feel the presence of loved one that’s passed on – what does it mean? Are the other people lying, is this spirit world fake, an illusion?
Here is the truth – as I’ve come to know it. When the pain of the separation is strong. When your heart and mind are intensely focused on the fact that they are not here, in the physical world. That they should be. That’s all you’ll feel. It clouds your ability to know their presence. Which is often more a whisper, than a shout. It’s like trying to hear a tiny mouse squeak during a rave. All your emotion and pain is too loud.
That’s not to say the people that can feel them have less grief, less pain. It’s just of a different quality. Some part of them has accepted the separation in a way you haven’t. They’ve swallowed the bitter truth, that their loved one is gone from earth.
Just because you don’t feel a loved ones presence doesn’t mean they’ve abandoned you. Or that those debby downers who believe in absolute nothingness are correct.
One day as I pulled out the Christmas quilt my Grammy made, I broke down crying. I miss her so much. As I cried I thought “why can’t I feel her”.
Later that same day, my mom came to visit, not knowing the experience I had that morning. She brought me a Christmas card she had found. It was for me, from my Grammy, 12 years ago. Written there before my eyes the words “Know that my love is with you always”.
Evidence that even if I can’t feel her, there she is.
When your pain is loud, you can’t hear a whisper. That doesn’t mean it’s not there.
If you want to connect to a lost loved one, tarot can help. Learn tarot for yourself by reading through the blogs on my website, start here.
Or connect with me, one on one for a reading. Contact me here, or visit this page to learn more.
“All that is loved is never lost, and she was loved so much”
The Empress Tarot 